It is snowing

It has snowed here the last 2 days and gotten sunny again in the morning.

I made the decisions I made after getting the test results, one day I will post everything but decided not to at this point.

My baby and I are just enjoying spending time with each other, soon he'll have to share.

Eventually he did call to yell at me for trying him so much, contacting his boss, the social worker from the hospital trying to reach him. I listened, apologized that he felt that way and then let him know that I wasn't going to argue, be yelled at, called names. I asked him if he was going to watch the baby and he said I wouldn't see him again until after we went to court so at least I didn't have to feel guilt about not sending him to his dads and sending him elsewhere. (he still hasn't started his parenting after separation course needed before court applications) so it'll be quite a while before he is ready to put in a court application, mine is already in anyway.

I let him talk to the baby and he was telling him how horrible I was and going on and on so I hung up. He called back I let him know that if he was going to put me down, etc on the phone while talking to the baby I would hang up again. He has since tried to reach me a few times but I have not been talking to him.

After last weekend I feel broken and alone but I know that there will be nothing amicable, I know that I will not be able to count on him. I know that he won't be there when our new baby is born nor will I trust him to watch our son.